Heart of Flesh

I'm way to frustrated to try to fix all of this. So please join me over here. I'm sorry if this is mass confusion.

http://clairezip.wordpress.com/

Claire

i don't know what the heck I did...but I messed up my template and now I have this undefined undefined stuff everywhere, lost all my sidebars...and I don't like the look and I've wasted WAY too much time tonight trying to fix it!!!!

I may switch my blog address because of my great frustration....

ugggghh.

More on this story to follow.

Breakforth was very moving for me this year...

I've heard it said that smiling can always change your mood about a situation, there's something about it tricking your body into thinking you are in a good mood.

Tonight, well every night really, getting Josiah into his pajamas is a big creative effort. Sometimes it's as easy as letting him pick out his jammies, sometimes we find a fun game to play and it goes quickly. Usually it involves some amount of running and tackling and a bit of a arguing as the end of the day patience is running thin. Tonight, after his bath, it involved a grumpy, large feeling, pregnant mama (whose face was splashed a few too many times during bath time) not having energy to chase nor the mood to play. Getting his underwear on was a small, (not easy) step in the right direction. But it was a little victory, they were indeed on! Then there he was, his long, lean body sporting bright red Lightning McQueen ginch...jumping up before I had a chance to stop him. Up he got, and started to strut, yes strut - hips moving with an overly exaggerated sway and wagging his arm in the air, turning to me with a sweet smile, he said, "okay then, I'll see you soon" and out the door he zipped. It was enough to crack this grumpy mama's face into a smile and even a chuckle. And lo and behold, my mood did improve. Soon after jammies were on and he was falling deep into sleep. As I watched his eyes close, and I stroked his soft face, I prayed that all the mistakes of the day would wash away and that tomorrow I would learn to love him even more deeply than the day before.

Also, I don't know if any of you read or have checked out the links on my side bar. There have been a few good recipes posted in some of them lately and wanted to highlight the ones I've tried and give a second opinion that they are in fact QUITE tasty.

Study in brown had a cupcake recipe that I tried and as I've mentioned, I'm no baker...but these turned out DELICIOUS!

Happy Foody posted a "snobby joes" recipe. Sloppy Joes made with lentils. VERY good, quick, easy and nutritious. I would also recommend those.

So go ahead and give them a try, let me know what you think.

I borrowed this from my friend Aimee's blog, but it is too good not to share.

He put a child in the middle of the room. Then, cradling the little one in his arms, he said, "Whoever embraces one of these children as I do embraces me, and far more than me—God who sent me." Mark 9:36,37

a reminder today of my call.

I don't know where to start a post like this. It feels like so much is welling up inside of me, that I want to so perfectly capture the stirring of my soul, but am afraid it will just jumble out so fast and mixed it up it will miss the passion I feel and look more like yesterdays meal. What I want to write about today, feels like what I want to write about always - what I want this blog to be about, what I want my life to be about. For me, this something is about loving others, the least of these, the orphans, the poor, the hungry, the needy, the war torn, the sick, the lepers.

I was so moved in church today. Marv's sermon was based on God calling Samuel. The story is 1 Samuel 3, if you want to read it. The sermon was a call for us to hear God's Word, but to hear in the sense that you can tell we hear because we are actually listening. I have been feeling, for so long now, a desire to be part of something bigger, something important. Part of some great fire sweeping across a group of people, maybe joining an organization or large movement. And so sometimes I just sit and wait...or fill up my time with T.V. and myself, and the computer, and

nothing

But today I thought, what if that is not what I need to wait for. Maybe I have all I need to wait for. I have God's call, I have ears to hear and now I need to be a person who listens. Maybe it is the deep burning of my heart causing small movements in my own hands and feet - and this, THIS will be the something bigger, the something more I am yearning for. Yes, I feel it!

This song by Tim Hughes was shared in church during the sermon, and I was so moved by it. Here are the words and following is a youtube video playing the song.

God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord



What can I do? How can I start moving in the world around me? I don't know for sure yet. I have a friend that serves at the Rock - maybe I can start meeting the poor and go from there? I have another friend, an ordinary girl, who emailed world vision or a similar organization and said, I have an 8 month old and I take for granted that he has access to health services and I even complain a bit about it, and I realized - so many people in the world don't have protection against deadly diseases. What can I do? Now she is helping to organize and raise funds so that a village in India receives vaccines.

What can I do?

God says in Micah,
He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

I will move forward in justice and mercy and humility and I will trust that God will use me. He has shown me what is good and I am ready to listen.

Shortly after I started this blog and started to let a few friends know, one of my good friends emailed back right away and said...hey I just started a blog too, but haven't told anyone. Let's call this friend "T". Then another friend emailed and said...that's funny that you decided to do this, I recently started a blog, but haven't told anyone yet. Let's call this friend "M". A few hours later I received another email from friend "L" who said (and did not know about my other two emails), "You know, I've actually been thinking, I'd like to start a blog co-op with you, "T" and "M". What do you think?

HA! I had to laugh. The four of us have been on similar journeys and care deeply about similar things, and it just seemed that God was preparing all of us at the same time to start a writing journey - and maybe one together.

What great joy there is for me in community, in growing and learning with and from others. I love these girls, and I'm excited about what we are creating.

So stay tuned...

I have a brand new niece.

She's lovely!!! She was born yesterday to my little brother and his wife.

Pictures will follow soon.

is love sweet love...

I will tell you one thing I have no love for - and that is dentists.

NONE
zip
zero.

I can hardly force myself to get there, but I have badly needed to and today I finally went for 1 filling and for one broken tooth repair. And I only went because I forgot to call to cancel on Friday, and I couldn't bring myself to lie about some emergency reason why I couldn't make it today. Going to the dentist is bad enough for me, but my dentist refers to himself in the third person. For example, "Ryan needs to see what's going on in here" or "This is the easiest set of fillings Ryan's had to do today" so this makes it even less palatable. And to make matters EVEN worse - when he was trying to fix my broken tooth, he broke it even more! This was signaled to me by, "wooooOAHH" followed by a flurry of eye exchanges between him and his assistant while "Claire" madly tried to guess what happened. I also really don't love how long the freezing lasts and how bad my mouth feels after. I feel very sorry for myself the whole dentist day. VERY, very sorry.





BUT...this is not what I really wanted to write about (except that I do want your sympathy)

What I wanted to write about is l-o-v-e, LOVE.

A few friends of mine have been working on memorizing Scripture together and asked me to join them. Each week we take turns picking a new verse or two or three and spend the week burning it into our hearts and minds. Some weeks I haven't even looked at the verse and therefore did not even come close to commiting it to memory and other weeks I feel so drawn in that I spend many nights journaling and praying about what God wants to say to me through the verse. This weeks verse selection is the well known passage from 1 Cor 13, and we're focusing on the first 3 verses this week, and it has already drawn me deeply in.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

I am often so passionate about subjects - and believe that these passions are good and noble - like some ideas I have about the environment or social justice or parenting. But in my passion and really without meaning to, I end up coming off as a know it all. Sometimes worse than that - sometimes I end up being judgemental in my heart. So, as I read the words my friend sent on email yesterday, a pang hit my heart and I thought YIKES...I might have the best ideas in the world, or the most compelling desire for others to catch the passionate wave of these ideas, but if I have not love I am nothing. nothing.

NOTHING.

The words of this Scripture this week are beginning in some way, some of that Spiritual surgery I am needing on my heart. This surgery is painful and yet beautiful and I pray that I will not cancel my appointments with our kind, loving, gracious, Holy, physician.

Here are a couple of pictures (Netanya) :) But they aren't great quality b/c we don't have a real camera right now - just a webcam. So as soon as we get a real camera, I will definitely post more pictures, more frequently.






claire

I don't really like Saturdays. While the rest of the world has Saturdays off, Matt is usually very busy. And most of my family and friends are spending time with their own families because it's their day off. So I usually dread the day. But today has been a creative, wonderful day. We started off going to home depot with my siblings and nephew & niece to take part in the free kids workshop where all the kids made bookends. We came home and painted them together.

This afternoon, Josiah, Ethan and I made granola bars - which I have never made, and I'm not a much of a baker. I like to improvise too much and that apparently doesn't work too well with baked goods. Anyway, I added chocolate chips before I added the hot gooey stuff and the whole creation became dark with hot melted chocolate the moment the hot stuff touched it.


oops. They are one of the tastier things I have baked though - except for the somewhat stale sunflower seeds I put in even though my instincts said to leave them out...

Later today Josiah came and told me his Larry (the cucumber) was crying. I asked Josiah, "can you help him?" Josiah said "YES!" and walked away cuddling Larry saying, "It's okay Larry. I'm here. I love you, I love you always". It melted my heart. Now I know I don't always respond the way I would like to respond when Josiah is crying, but my goodness it warmed my heart to hear him relay the compassion and closeness I want to exhibit to him, to his sad little stuffed cucumber.

So...I don't really know how to start a blog...well I guess I figured out how to start and even figured out how to use a template that wasn't on blogger, AND googled html codes to figure out how to change the font (quite proud of myself on that one), and I picked a title (which is painful for me to do). But what I really mean, is where do I start. Where do I dig in? What do I say to you?

When I told Matt I was doing this I was pleasantly surprised at his reaction. His face lifted and brightened and he said, "you are?! I've thought for a while when you are reading others blogs, 'why don't you do that' but I didn't want to put that on you." hmmmm...who knew he thought that?

So I don't know that I have much to offer, but I am excited to write and share and dream on here. I have been praying for God to remove my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. I wonder if writing things out will bring clarity to how that is happening for me. I want to be better and to grow and learn and inspire and be inspired. Maybe you will join me on this journey? I sure hope so.