I will tell you one thing I have no love for - and that is dentists.
NONE
zip
zero.
I can hardly force myself to get there, but I have badly needed to and today I finally went for 1 filling and for one broken tooth repair. And I only went because I forgot to call to cancel on Friday, and I couldn't bring myself to lie about some emergency reason why I couldn't make it today. Going to the dentist is bad enough for me, but my dentist refers to himself in the third person. For example, "Ryan needs to see what's going on in here" or "This is the easiest set of fillings Ryan's had to do today" so this makes it even less palatable. And to make matters EVEN worse - when he was trying to fix my broken tooth, he broke it even more! This was signaled to me by, "wooooOAHH" followed by a flurry of eye exchanges between him and his assistant while "Claire" madly tried to guess what happened. I also really don't love how long the freezing lasts and how bad my mouth feels after. I feel very sorry for myself the whole dentist day. VERY, very sorry.
BUT...this is not what I really wanted to write about (except that I do want your sympathy)
What I wanted to write about is l-o-v-e, LOVE.
A few friends of mine have been working on memorizing Scripture together and asked me to join them. Each week we take turns picking a new verse or two or three and spend the week burning it into our hearts and minds. Some weeks I haven't even looked at the verse and therefore did not even come close to commiting it to memory and other weeks I feel so drawn in that I spend many nights journaling and praying about what God wants to say to me through the verse. This weeks verse selection is the well known passage from 1 Cor 13, and we're focusing on the first 3 verses this week, and it has already drawn me deeply in.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."
I am often so passionate about subjects - and believe that these passions are good and noble - like some ideas I have about the environment or social justice or parenting. But in my passion and really without meaning to, I end up coming off as a know it all. Sometimes worse than that - sometimes I end up being judgemental in my heart. So, as I read the words my friend sent on email yesterday, a pang hit my heart and I thought YIKES...I might have the best ideas in the world, or the most compelling desire for others to catch the passionate wave of these ideas, but if I have not love I am nothing. nothing.
NOTHING.
The words of this Scripture this week are beginning in some way, some of that Spiritual surgery I am needing on my heart. This surgery is painful and yet beautiful and I pray that I will not cancel my appointments with our kind, loving, gracious, Holy, physician.
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SO sorry about your dentist appointment. I think you need a new dentist. I am supposed to make Mark and I dentist appointments today, but I might accidently forget. But I haven't been to the dentist in something like 5 years. One of the last times I went he decided to fill a cavity without any freezing. It hurt so badly...
And I like that you're memorizing scripture. I've decided to memorize a verse a day for lent, and am already working on my list of verses. I'm so excited to tackle it.
Hi Claire! I just accidentally stumbled onto your blog. I am so happy to have found it! What a nice surprise.
I too am putting off having a cavity worked on and have actually put off having gum surgery for 3 years. Gum Surgery! Sounds like pure torture.....I'd rather go through life with tooth sensitivity! Anyway, I have enjoyed reading all your entries thus far, I am proud of you for starting this.
~Jena
Claire,
Thanks for sharing. :) Your blog is beautiful...both in appearance and in content! As for the dentist...I have the name of a GOOD one if you are looking. He has almost made me not HATE the dentist. lol
I am going to try and not cancel my appointments with that physician too. thanks for sharing.